All too frequently, I receive reports of Elder Abuse. Elder abuse comes in many forms: physical abuse; sexual abuse; emotional or psychological abuse; neglect; abandonment; financial or material exploitation; and self-neglect. The reports I deal with usually have to do with financial or material exploitation, usually coupled with emotional or psychological abuse.

In one incredibly common scenario, one sibling calls to complain about the actions of another sibling. “Sister is draining Mom dry.” Usually, Sister is a selfish underachiever who has never stood on her own two feet. Often, drugs, alcohol, poor decision-making, and/or an extensive criminal background has played a major part in Sister’s life. Sometimes, Sister has simply never heard the word “NO.”

Mom will tell you that she loves Sister and often offers multiple excuses for why Sister needs help. Brother, the complainer, may be genuinely concerned or may be as guilty as Sister. Sister typically could care less whether Mom has or needs anything.

Threats, intimidation and harassment are common symptoms of elder abuse. Sister tells Mom that Mom and Dad were horrible parents. They are responsible for all of the problems Sister has. If Mom doesn’t allow Sister to get money or whatever she wants, Sister tells Mom that she will hate Mom forever. Mom will never again see the grandkids, who are probably growing up to be just as dysfunctional. Or, if Mom is feeble, Sister may threaten to withhold care or to place Mom is a long-term care facility if Mom does not do what Sister wants.

There are many other forms of abuse. If a parent is failing mentally, a child may strive to get control of the failing parent’s financial affairs by having the parent sign a power of attorney. The child may even force the parent to change their will so that the influencing child gets everything. Most lawyers try to watch for this. Still, there are some very persuasive children out there who can easily convince someone that they are looking out for their parent’s best interests. Some parents will also simply say, “Whatever he/she wants.”

Be aware that if a person is mentally competent, they can choose to do whatever they want with their money. It is their right. They may do things that loving children disagree with.

We all need to watch out for elderly neighbors and friends. If you suspect that someone is being forced to do things against their will, report it. Here is what you can do:

1. If the victim is strong enough, have them tell the abuser NO. It will be something the victim may not want to do or may be too fearful to do.

2. If the problem persists or the victim is helpless, contact The National Center on Elder Abuse hotline at 1-800-677-1116.

3. In Ohio, you can contact the County Department of Job and Family Services to make a complaint. They will investigate.

4. If you suspect the victim is incompetent, contact an attorney and arrange for a guardianship. The guardian will be accountable to the local probate court and may have some limited powers to investigate the financial dealings of individuals who have acted on behalf of the victim.

Need help with your estate planning? Contact Mularski, Bonham, Dittmer, & Phillips, LLC at (614) 478-8020.